1 00:00:00,522 --> 00:00:01,610 - Warning. 2 00:00:01,653 --> 00:00:02,828 The following program contains really 3 00:00:02,872 --> 00:00:05,570 course language, weed, alcohol consumption, 4 00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:08,312 smoking and sexual inferences. 5 00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:09,922 This content may not be suitable 6 00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:11,794 for viewers under 18. 7 00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:13,448 To activate parental controls, 8 00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:14,275 Please press the 9 00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:15,363 go [beep] yourself button 10 00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:16,712 on your remote control. 11 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,682 - I remember in the intermission last night 12 00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:31,770 I was trying to find 13 00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:34,121 some fun facts about 14 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:35,165 animals. 15 00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:36,558 I was trying to 16 00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:37,907 - Fun facts about animals? 17 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,169 - Yeah, yeah! 18 00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:40,910 - Why were you doing that? 19 00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:42,129 - I was thinking about getting a new pet 20 00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:42,781 and I wanted to 21 00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:45,480 research things about different ones. 22 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:46,785 - Ricky. 23 00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:47,960 Find out what's a good pet. 24 00:00:48,004 --> 00:00:49,440 My pants are falling off. 25 00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:50,441 - [Bubbles] Well pull them up. 26 00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,660 Do you have underwear on? 27 00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:52,704 - [Ricky] Who knows? 28 00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:55,098 It's flip of a coin. 29 00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,447 [Ricky laughs] 30 00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:58,058 - You don't know if you have underwear on or not? 31 00:00:58,101 --> 00:00:58,928 [Ricky sighs] 32 00:00:58,971 --> 00:00:59,755 - Can you feel them? 33 00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:00,451 - Oh yeah. 34 00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:01,713 No, I do. 35 00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:03,150 - Well. Can't you feel that you have under? 36 00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,500 I mean, I always know when I have underwear on. 37 00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:08,546 Jesus. 38 00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:09,460 - Uh. 39 00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,288 What did you guys want to do? 40 00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:13,290 - I don't know that, just, I'm reading a story here. 41 00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:15,466 It kind of reminds me of something that you would do. 42 00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,033 - [Ricky] Who me? 43 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,078 - Yeah. Remember how you used to go on like, 44 00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:19,644 fuck, I want to get a Bulletproof vest 45 00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:20,471 and start, you know 46 00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:21,255 I wanna get shot by one? 47 00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:22,517 - [Ricky] Yeah. 48 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,823 - We're like, no, Ricky, it it fuckin', it hurts. 49 00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,086 Like you can break ribs and shit. 50 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,043 - You don't get dead. 51 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,218 - Yeah. But still, 52 00:01:28,262 --> 00:01:29,611 you don't want to get fuckin' shot, man. 53 00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:30,742 It's just, it's not normal. 54 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,962 - What if they shoot you in the neck? 55 00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:34,398 by accident? Then 56 00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:36,357 - You have to get a Bulletproof scarf. 57 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,967 - Anyway, these two guys were drinking. 58 00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:39,055 They're neighbors. 59 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,448 They were like, they put on the vest. 60 00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:42,145 They're like, let's shoot each other. 61 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:43,059 See what it feels like. 62 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,669 - Some fuckin' tough guys. 63 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:46,280 - One guy shot the guy. 64 00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:47,585 Right? And it hurt so 65 00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:49,413 It hurt him so fuckin' bad 66 00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:50,414 that buddy picks 67 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,764 up a fuckin' rifle and shoots him 68 00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:54,462 like unloads the whole fuckin' 69 00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:56,855 clip at the guy's vest. 70 00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:57,508 - What? 71 00:01:57,552 --> 00:01:58,553 - And killed him. 72 00:01:58,596 --> 00:01:59,336 - [Julian] He didn't kill him, no. 73 00:01:59,380 --> 00:01:59,858 But it fucked him up. 74 00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:00,990 - Oh my God. 75 00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:01,860 - Went to the hospital and said they got 76 00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:03,297 into a gunfight with somebody 77 00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:05,125 [Ricky laughs] 78 00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,474 and they were like, no 79 00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:07,649 you guys are just fuckin' shooting at each other. 80 00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:08,432 And they were like, yeah. 81 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:09,303 Okay. We fuckin' did that. 82 00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:10,782 Anyway. They're going to jail. 83 00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:11,305 - That's fucked up. 84 00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:11,914 - For what? 85 00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:13,350 - Don't know, man. 86 00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:15,265 - I guess you're not allowed to shoot at each other. 87 00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:16,048 - You're not allowed to shoot at, at each other. 88 00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:17,093 Yeah. 89 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,312 - Even with Bulletproof vents on. 90 00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:20,531 Bulletproof scarf's 91 00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:21,358 - Exciting. 92 00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,751 - Not a bad idea, actually. 93 00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:24,970 - Bulletproof gloves? 94 00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,363 - Bulletproof gloves, yeah. 95 00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:28,844 - Cause you're always getting defensive wounds. 96 00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:29,714 - Yeah. 97 00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:31,977 Bulletproof gloves. 98 00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,109 - [Ricky] Bulletproof. 99 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,241 - If you fuckin' try to stop a bullet 100 00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:35,764 with your bulletproof fuckin' gloves, 101 00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:36,765 [Ricky laughs] 102 00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:38,723 your good hand would be fucked. 103 00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:40,203 It would just be all mangled up inside. 104 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,117 And you'd take it out 105 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,205 and in your hand would be fucked. 106 00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:42,945 - Would it, though? 107 00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,207 - Kind of, man. 108 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:45,948 - What if you put on two Bulletproof gloves? 109 00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:46,644 - Bubs, so you're still like 110 00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:47,819 - A small and a large. 111 00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:48,733 - you're not catching a fuckin' baseball. 112 00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:49,865 - [Ricky] Or a Bulletproof glove 113 00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:50,779 and then a Bulletproof mitten 114 00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:51,867 over the whole thing. 115 00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,825 - Boys, it's still gonna break the f- 116 00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:55,566 It's gonna shatter your fuckin' hand. 117 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,089 - Maybe. Maybe not. 118 00:02:58,221 --> 00:02:59,004 - Depends on. 119 00:02:59,048 --> 00:02:59,831 - Let's try. 120 00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:00,658 Do you wanna try? 121 00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:01,485 - No. 122 00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:02,094 I don't. 123 00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:03,183 But I bet you 124 00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:04,749 you could look it up on MythBusters. 125 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:05,794 I bet you 126 00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:06,621 - I bet we can get Corey or Jacob 127 00:03:06,664 --> 00:03:08,188 to fuckin' try it. 128 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,493 Well of course you could. 129 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:11,191 - All right, let's try it then sometime. 130 00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,541 - All you'd have to do is promise 'em something. 131 00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:14,716 - And you've gotta make up a 132 00:03:14,759 --> 00:03:16,587 Bulletproof fuckin' glove. 133 00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:18,067 Good luck with that one. 134 00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,677 - I tell you, I named my beaver? 135 00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:21,810 - Hmm. 136 00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:22,680 No. 137 00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:23,899 - Calling him Nickel. 138 00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:25,248 - [Bubbles] Nickel. 139 00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,381 - [Ricky] Yep. Just picture him on every nickel. 140 00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:28,556 - [Bubbles] I get it. I know. 141 00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:31,298 There's a beaver on the Canadian nickel. 142 00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:33,082 - [Ricky] What's up, Nickel? 143 00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:34,344 [Bubble laughs] 144 00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:35,345 - [Ricky In High Pitched Voice] Sending it out! 145 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,607 - [Julian] Cool dude. 146 00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:38,522 What a horrible fuckin' name. Nickel. 147 00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:39,610 - Nickel. 148 00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,133 And he talks like that, does he? In a 149 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,396 - [Ricky In High Pitched Voice] Yeah. 150 00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:43,397 He talks like this. 151 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,920 Hey Bubbs. 152 00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,226 - Hey Nickel. 153 00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:47,531 - [High Pitched Voice] You got any treats? 154 00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:48,532 Beaver treats? 155 00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,317 - I don't have any beaver treats. 156 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,143 [Ricky laughs] 157 00:03:51,187 --> 00:03:51,970 I'll bring some next time. 158 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:53,058 Some beaver jerky. 159 00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:55,235 Where you going? 160 00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:56,584 - Just checking on 161 00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:57,454 what you got in the fridge here, man. 162 00:03:58,803 --> 00:03:59,587 - [Ricky] All right. 163 00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:00,892 - [Julian] You want some quick 164 00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:04,113 we got some quick fries. Full bottle of vodka. 165 00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:04,940 - Do you want a quick fry? 166 00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:05,941 - There you go. 167 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:06,768 That's gonna help you out, man. 168 00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:07,725 That's gonna keep you alive. 169 00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:08,552 You drink some of this. 170 00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:09,945 Okay. With vodka. 171 00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,120 That's what this is. 172 00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:12,426 - Well. I know. 173 00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:13,383 - You got some carrots down there. 174 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:14,471 - [Ricky] No, man. 175 00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:16,125 You gotta go into the good section. 176 00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:17,779 - You could give carrots to Nickel. 177 00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:18,649 - [Ricky] Oh yeah. 178 00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,390 Now we're fuckin' talking. 179 00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:23,393 Egg rolls, baby. 180 00:04:23,437 --> 00:04:24,264 - All right. 181 00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:26,788 - You're cooking. 182 00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:27,615 Are you Ricky? 183 00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:28,442 In the middle of the show? 184 00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,269 [bang] 185 00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:29,921 - [Ricky] Quick fries? 186 00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:30,835 - Jesus! Murphy. 187 00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:31,836 - [Julian] You might wanna wrap, 188 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,577 put like, use a Ziplock bag, man. 189 00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:35,753 You got freezer burn on all them. 190 00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:36,624 - Well, they're not bad. 191 00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:38,147 - How about some quick fries? 192 00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,018 Some sweet and sour pork 193 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,542 and a couple egg rolls? 194 00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:42,412 Yeah! 195 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:45,023 Fuck off. 196 00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,329 - [Julian] Jesus Christ, man. 197 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,375 - [Bubbles] Ricky, you're gonna break your leg. 198 00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:49,898 These have a little bit of freezer burn, 199 00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,769 but they're not bad. 200 00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:53,380 Oh, those are the bear pollen ones too. 201 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:54,250 I like those. 202 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,295 - I don't have a microwave. 203 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,297 Is the only problem. 204 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,646 - Where's your microwave? 205 00:04:58,689 --> 00:04:59,473 - I don't know. 206 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:00,909 I think I sold it. 207 00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:05,392 - You don't know where your microwave is? 208 00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:06,741 - [Ricky] Do you see it anywhere? 209 00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,091 - Don't know, but 210 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,135 [metal rattling] 211 00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:11,180 - How can't you remember whether 212 00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:12,399 you fuckin' sold the thing or not? 213 00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:13,965 - I have a weird memory 214 00:05:14,009 --> 00:05:15,663 about smashing the fuckin' thing. 215 00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:16,577 - [Julian] You smashed it? 216 00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:17,882 - Here, Ricky, let, 217 00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:19,275 you know, stand this way. 218 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,363 So that people can, 219 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,233 you know. 220 00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:22,060 - [Ricky] Like this? 221 00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:23,105 - Well just, you know 222 00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,411 I just want people to be able to 223 00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:25,325 see what you're doing. 224 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,151 That's all. 225 00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,718 - [Ricky] Uh. Fuck. 226 00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:29,764 Ugh. 227 00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:33,245 - You still don't know 228 00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:35,030 how to work your oven. Do ya? 229 00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,729 Showed you at least 50 times. 230 00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:42,342 - Aren't these supposed to be a different color? 231 00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:43,604 Yeah. It's supposed to be this color. 232 00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:44,866 - [Julian] That's what I'm saying. 233 00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,128 They got freezer burn, man. 234 00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:46,955 - What does that mean? 235 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:47,825 - You gotta put 'em in a 236 00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,740 Ziploc bag. Wrap them up. 237 00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,046 - They're fine. 238 00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,047 Turn your blower on though, 239 00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:53,091 Ricky, or you're gonna 240 00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:54,702 fill the place with stink 241 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,487 Quick fry stink. 242 00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:58,314 - Read this Randy. 243 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,576 Which one? 244 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:00,272 - Shitoscope. 245 00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:01,012 - Shitoscope. 246 00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:02,100 - All right, everybody. 247 00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:04,102 From the dictionary we have shitoscope. 248 00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:04,929 Okay? 249 00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:05,800 In 250 00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:06,627 - I'll drink to that. 251 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:07,454 - Mr. Lahey, I'm reading! 252 00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:08,280 - [Mr. Lahey] I, I gotcha. 253 00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:09,151 - Shh! 254 00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:11,371 In grata 255 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,068 explorary 256 00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:13,938 surgery 257 00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:14,983 - [Mr. Lahey] That's Latman. 258 00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:16,027 - What's that, did I say it right? 259 00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:16,854 - [Mr. Lahey] Yeah, perfect, Randy. 260 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,639 - Okay. It's a noun. N. 261 00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,380 an archaic instrument 262 00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:21,772 for viewing the bowel 263 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,383 through the sphincter. 264 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,471 Advanced models 265 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,168 Come equipped with shit lights 266 00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:29,780 rectal dilators, bung oil and aprons. 267 00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:31,391 I don't get it, Mr. Lahey. 268 00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:32,217 Oh, there's 269 00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:34,481 Shitscopy right here. 270 00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:35,873 Shitoscopy? 271 00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,179 Shitoscopy. 272 00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:38,659 Enough, Mr. Lahey! Stop. 273 00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:39,703 - [Mr. Lahey] Shitoscopy. 274 00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:40,574 - Shitoscopy. 275 00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,097 [Mr. Lahey grunts] 276 00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,446 The science of rectal telemetry. 277 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:44,316 Shh! 278 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,143 [Mr. Lahey laughs] 279 00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:45,970 recently sidelined 280 00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:47,145 by the fecal finger. 281 00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:48,016 - Yeah. 282 00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:48,886 - Oh, and here's a poem. 283 00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:51,454 On my side I happily linger, 284 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,413 as she applies her fecal finger. 285 00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:54,239 - Yeah. Bend over 286 00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:55,110 - By Luke Lipshits 287 00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:55,980 - Bend over. 288 00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:57,242 Let Lahey come over. 289 00:06:57,286 --> 00:06:58,418 - New Shit Yorker. January, 2011. 290 00:06:58,461 --> 00:06:59,636 That's pretty funny, Mr. Lahey. 291 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,463 - Yeah. 292 00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:01,290 Okay. Can you guess 293 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:01,638 what's in the box, Randy? 294 00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:03,031 - Coins! 295 00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:04,989 - It's related to the [slurs] shitoscopy, Randy. 296 00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,164 - Um. 297 00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:06,948 - This fuckin' piece of shit 298 00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:07,818 [bang] 299 00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:08,602 There it is, Randy. 300 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:09,429 Guess what it is, bud? 301 00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:10,517 - [Randy] I think we need 302 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:11,431 - [Mr. Lahey] Tada! 303 00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:12,257 Hold that. 304 00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:13,084 - It's a pair of scissors. 305 00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,434 - It, no, it's half. 306 00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:15,304 - Oh, it doesn't open. 307 00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:17,175 [Mr. Lahey belches] 308 00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:18,263 It's a tuning fork. 309 00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:19,090 [Mr. Lahey laughs] 310 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,178 - It could be. 311 00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:21,092 [cling] 312 00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:21,876 What else do you think it is? 313 00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:22,920 [cling] 314 00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:23,747 - Boomchaka boomchaka! 315 00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:24,531 [cling cling cling] 316 00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:25,793 - Here try this. See. 317 00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:26,576 - Boomchaka Boomboppa 318 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:27,447 [cling cling cling] 319 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:28,273 Let me see, I can do this one. 320 00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:29,100 [Mr. Lahey laughs] 321 00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:31,015 [clinging noises] 322 00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,452 - [Mr. Lahey] Careful! 323 00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:32,887 You know what they are? 324 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,323 [clinking] 325 00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:35,324 - [Mr. Lahey] Anybody out there in the audio radience 326 00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:37,195 Know what that little shitbag is? 327 00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:38,066 [clinking] 328 00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:38,893 Those are rectal dilators! 329 00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:39,981 [Mr. Lahey laughs] 330 00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:41,199 - What! 331 00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:43,245 Here, take these away from me, Mr. Lahey! 332 00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:45,465 [Mr. Lahey laughing] 333 00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,118 You we- That was mean! 334 00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:50,252 [Mr. Lahey laughing] 335 00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:52,646 Mr. Lahey. 336 00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:55,475 - Okay, Randy. 337 00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:56,998 Time for our word of the week. 338 00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:58,390 You want the big dictionary 339 00:07:58,434 --> 00:07:59,740 or the little dictionary? 340 00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,306 - I want the little dictionary, Mr. Lahey. 341 00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:04,048 - Don't forget! The synchronousy of [slurs] 342 00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:05,441 of they cov- the com 343 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,225 of the idiotics cosmos, Randy. 344 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,792 Anything you point to do? 345 00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,446 That's in this dictionary 346 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,273 - Oh! 347 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:12,100 is the magical magicus. 348 00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:12,970 - Ohh! 349 00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:13,797 - Do you want me to open 350 00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:14,929 I'll just open it at random? 351 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:15,712 - Right there! 352 00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:16,583 - Right there? 353 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:17,758 What, point to something. Point. 354 00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:18,846 Can you see? 355 00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:19,673 - It says 356 00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:20,500 - What? 357 00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:21,457 - Immeasurable. 358 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,893 - Your gut, Randy! 359 00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:23,720 Immeasurable. 360 00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:24,373 - Not measurable. 361 00:08:24,416 --> 00:08:24,939 Limitless. 362 00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,244 - Yeah, I know. 363 00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:28,856 Because you have the most wonderful epiphanous. 364 00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,292 - I grew two inches last year. 365 00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:31,380 It's true. 366 00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:34,514 From 44 and a half to 46 and a half. 367 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,298 Randy's got his immeasurable. 368 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:37,691 - Mr. Lahey, you gotta try this burger. 369 00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:38,518 [Mr Lahey in singing voice] immeasurable, measurable. 370 00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:40,171 [Mr. Lahey mumbles] 371 00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,478 [Mr. Lahey singing] 372 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,914 You know, that's that's what. 373 00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:46,221 Ohh, Randy. 374 00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:48,702 I gotta drink a toast to Randy's kitchen. 375 00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:51,313 Make your own burgers using shit. 376 00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:52,662 - I need my liquor. 377 00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:53,750 - Okay. Here, Randy. 378 00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:55,535 I think you drank it all bud. Here. 379 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:58,494 - Here, Mr. Lahey I'll come. 380 00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,321 You could gave me a sippy poo. 381 00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,191 - Okay. 382 00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,192 Just a little sippy poo. 383 00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:03,499 [Mr. Lahey In Singing Voice] Randy Balandy. 384 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,545 His ass as sweet as candy. 385 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,242 Randy Bobandy 386 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,635 - Mr. Lahey! 387 00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:09,940 [whispers] Don't say that! 388 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,551 - Okay. 389 00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:13,161 - Ooh! Fuck you. 390 00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:14,510 Head to toe health is kind of 391 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,467 what I'm known for. 392 00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:16,817 Like, like, you know, 393 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:17,687 some of them guys are just 394 00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:18,688 all upper body and then 395 00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:19,733 they have little chicken legs, 396 00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:20,603 but I'm trying to like 397 00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,344 pretty be much be even. 398 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:23,171 Hey, fuck, man 399 00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:24,302 I'm doing something. 400 00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:25,260 I'm trying to be like, even 401 00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:27,175 throughout my whole body, like, 402 00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:28,350 like watch this move. 403 00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:30,570 Like that. 404 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:31,440 You know? 405 00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:32,659 Not a lot of guys can do that. 406 00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:33,355 You know? 407 00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:33,964 They'd be like, 408 00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,226 how'd you do that? 409 00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:36,837 And then it's like mental, physical strength 410 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:37,968 all together. 411 00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:38,839 One more. 412 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,145 Ugh! Fuck. 413 00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:42,277 Little slippery bitch. 414 00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:45,672 Ugh. 415 00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:50,372 [Grunting noses] 416 00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:55,072 [bang] 417 00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:58,902 What the fuck? 418 00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:00,861 [bang] 419 00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:04,604 What the fuck? 420 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,128 Holy fuck. 421 00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:17,007 Yeah, so fuck, tonight's the night. 422 00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:19,749 I, I feel like it's an opportune time for me to 423 00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:20,924 fuckin' break free, 424 00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:21,751 get out, you know, 425 00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:22,883 fight for my life 426 00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:24,624 and fuck the prison life. 427 00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:25,450 So, you know, 428 00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:26,582 if you, if you read about me 429 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,844 in the news later, 430 00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,455 like, Terry's got a bullet in his back, like, 431 00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:31,761 just think 432 00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:33,763 of Bons Scott, like, you know, 433 00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:34,590 made it out. 434 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,460 It's all that mattered. 435 00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:36,592 I'm running for freedom tonight. 436 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,813 So probably won't see you again there, 437 00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:40,857 Rick bud, cause like, 438 00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:42,119 you wouldn't fit through the cracks, 439 00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:43,860 so I'm kind of leaving without you, 440 00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:45,993 but you're a good guy to me, 441 00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,168 you know, like, 442 00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:47,995 kind of a brother. 443 00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:50,475 So don't cry for me, Ricky, 444 00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:51,346 I'm already gone. 445 00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:56,046 [grunting] 446 00:10:57,874 --> 00:11:00,094 [grunting] 447 00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:04,098 [grunting] 448 00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,799 - Ugh! Son of a bitch. 449 00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:10,670 - Ugh! Holy fuck! 450 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:12,628 Oh, fuck. 451 00:11:14,891 --> 00:11:15,675 Oh, fuck! 452 00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:16,588 Help! Me tight! 453 00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:18,852 Ahh! 454 00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,201 Oh, fuck! 455 00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,071 Ricky! 456 00:11:22,986 --> 00:11:24,553 Ricky! 457 00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:25,946 Guys! 458 00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:27,861 Oh, fuck! 459 00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:29,558 I'm in the walls! 460 00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:30,907 Help! 461 00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:31,734 Help! 462 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,694 Help! 463 00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:36,957 [Coughing] 464 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:39,829 - Well pretty much figure I'll just 465 00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:41,918 enjoy my privacy tonight, and 466 00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:44,486 hopefully, you know, once I lose a pound or two, 467 00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,053 I can wiggle my way back out. 468 00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,056 Fuck's sakes. 469 00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,622 The good news is I fuckin' 470 00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:51,711 have a little hiding hole 471 00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,364 to hang out on my own. 472 00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,497 The bad news is I ain't really that free. 473 00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,677 [insects chirring] 474 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,072 So yeah, like, 475 00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:06,508 I spent a whole day and a half there 476 00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:07,727 fuckin' stuck in the wall 477 00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:08,989 and I was like 478 00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:09,903 kind of panicking. 479 00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:11,339 Thought maybe I was gonna die. 480 00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:12,862 And then like, you know, outta nowhere 481 00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:15,299 this little rat kind of came up to me and I, 482 00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:16,561 you know, I think it almost might have like, 483 00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:17,693 kickstarted my heart 484 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,173 on the final beat. 485 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,827 Found a little buddy down here, keep him, 486 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:23,133 keeping me safe, keeping me warm. 487 00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:24,526 And you know, it kind of like, 488 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:25,745 gave him a little name here. 489 00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:27,703 Little Ricky kind of reminds me of Ricky. 490 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:28,530 You know? 491 00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:29,705 Like he's got feisty sort of 492 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:30,662 feisty spirit. 493 00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:31,663 [sniffing] 494 00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:32,490 You smell that? 495 00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,057 You smelling for some hash? 496 00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,058 [rat squeaks] 497 00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:36,016 Yeah, I wish I had some too, bud. 498 00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:38,975 You wanna come back with me to jail? 499 00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:39,802 [rat squeaks] 500 00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:40,629 What's that? 501 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:41,456 [rat squeaks] 502 00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,762 Oh no, you're a free spirit. 503 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:43,850 - Yes. I was gone. 504 00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,286 I was gone for 40 days and 40 nights. 505 00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,244 And Ricky Brown was serving his time 506 00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:48,332 in the prisons. 507 00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:50,552 Now Ricky Brown would like to consider 508 00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:52,249 the fact that since the prison was named 509 00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:53,642 the South Garden Penitentiary 510 00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:54,948 he was spending 40 days and 40 nights 511 00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,166 in the garden. 512 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:58,255 And I find that no coincidence whatsoever. 513 00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:01,432 Jesus Christ of course was somewhat of criminal himself. 514 00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:02,999 And sometimes we let ourselves go 515 00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:06,089 and we need to take the time for ourselves. 516 00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,135 Whether or not that's time that has been slapped 517 00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:10,006 upon us by a corrupt police department or 518 00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:12,139 or simply because a man is black 519 00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:15,795 or because the man might wanna go on his own. 520 00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:17,927 The fact is is that 521 00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,059 while I was there 522 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:21,148 Ricky Brown had time to reflect. 523 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:23,803 He had time to think. 524 00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:25,195 He had time to, to 525 00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:26,501 to consider 526 00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:29,896 new ways of bring the Lord into your house. 527 00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:33,247 I'd like to bring your attention 528 00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:34,857 to Leviticus! 529 00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,903 Verse 24. 530 00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:38,165 Uh, uh. 531 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,819 Number 12. 532 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,038 [clears throat] 533 00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:43,735 and Leviticus tells us 534 00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:45,041 Fuck this Bible, man. 535 00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:47,478 Who's fuckin' with my- 536 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:49,741 [clears throat] 537 00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:52,919 Leviticus 12, book 24. 538 00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:53,833 [stutters] 539 00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:56,705 [clears throat] 540 00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,838 This aint even the right shit, man. 541 00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:02,319 [slams book pages] 542 00:14:02,363 --> 00:14:03,494 Forget that. 543 00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:04,931 Listen man, Ricky Brown. 544 00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:05,801 Listen, Rick. 545 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:06,584 The, the fact is that 546 00:14:06,628 --> 00:14:08,238 that Ricky Brown lives in, 547 00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,413 he goes to prison. 548 00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:10,545 He comes back to prison. 549 00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:12,634 The, I don't give a fuck what anyone say. 550 00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:13,461 All right? 551 00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:14,636 Anyone can judge me. 552 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:15,289 A lot of people 553 00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,507 Judge Ricky Brown 554 00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:18,379 on his first couple shows will tell you what 555 00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,381 Ricky b- got the balls 556 00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:21,730 and the nuts to come up in here. 557 00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,775 And he got the balls of Delilah 558 00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:25,429 and he got the dick of Samson 559 00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:26,604 and he come up on stage 560 00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:28,868 and he has the audacity to, to 561 00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:32,088 to come and, and, and, and, and, 562 00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:33,655 [stutters] 563 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:34,482 Man, fuck, man. 564 00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:35,962 This shit is hard. 565 00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:39,052 [clears throat] 566 00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:41,576 Deuteronomy 23. Number 1. 567 00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,839 He, that is wounded in the stones 568 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,276 or hath his privy member removed 569 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,277 shall not be welcomed 570 00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:48,104 in the church. 571 00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:48,888 Basically what that means is 572 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,237 Ricky Brown has big balls 573 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,325 and he's welcomed in the church. 574 00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:52,108 You get no balls, 575 00:14:52,152 --> 00:14:54,023 you get the fuck out. 576 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:54,894 All right? 577 00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:56,330 Ricky has a, uh, 578 00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:57,374 couldn't be here. 579 00:14:58,288 --> 00:14:59,115 I mean, I'm sorry 580 00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:00,290 if you have testicular cancer, 581 00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:01,552 I guess that means you're not 582 00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:03,293 allowed in church either, but you know, we'll, 583 00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:05,861 we'll pray for you on your speedy recovery. 584 00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,733 Let us hang our head in prayer. 585 00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:17,307 [drink pouring] 586 00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:20,832 [swallowing] 587 00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:23,748 [snorting] 588 00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:24,619 Lord. We are 589 00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:27,535 generally thankful that 590 00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:29,493 Is it hot in here? 591 00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:30,581 [clears throat] 592 00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:32,105 We're generally thankful that. Uh. 593 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,282 Lord, if you'll, uh. 594 00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:41,244 Lord let us hang our head in prayer. 595 00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:42,115 We can 596 00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:45,640 be able, 597 00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:47,033 excuse me for a minute. 598 00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:48,860 This is all part of the. 599 00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:49,731 Huh. 600 00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:53,430 [swallowing] 601 00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:58,435 [cleaning throat] 602 00:15:58,479 --> 00:16:00,046 Ladies and gentlemen we have a 603 00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:03,788 [banging and bumping noise] 604 00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:11,448 [background organ music continues] 605 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,583 [snorting] 606 00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:17,933 [snorting] 607 00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:37,953 [snorting] 608 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:51,532 Huh? 609 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:52,359 What's up? 610 00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:54,448 [mumbles] 611 00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,320 Little too fast. Sometimes I come on 612 00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:58,234 [mumbles] 613 00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:01,020 I just 614 00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:03,196 [mumbles] 615 00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,288 [mumbles] 616 00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:13,032 Oh! 617 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:26,436 - [Man Off Stage] Doing okay, Ricky? 618 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,967 - Deuteronomy, uh, ver, 619 00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,099 chapter 25. 620 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:38,013 When you 621 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:41,103 go through your neighbor's vineyard, 622 00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:43,758 you may eat as many a grapes as you wish 623 00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,803 but do not put them in your basket. 624 00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:55,596 Is the time, is it lunchtime yet? 625 00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:05,345 I'm gonna just use the, step off for a minute. 626 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:11,394 - Hey, this is Bubbles. 627 00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:13,614 Welcome to kitty of the week. 628 00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:14,963 [Bubbles laughs] 629 00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:16,834 [cats meowing] 630 00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:18,053 [cats purring] 631 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,490 Hey, welcome to kitty of the week. 632 00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:22,536 We're at the Bide Awhile Shelter here again. 633 00:18:22,579 --> 00:18:25,104 We got an excellent kitty being featured this week. 634 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,714 This guy here. 635 00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:28,107 Look at this guy! 636 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,717 [Bubbles laughs] 637 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,111 He doesn't have a name yet, so 638 00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:33,634 you know, you can give him your own 639 00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,331 or you can ask me to give him one, 640 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,116 which I will happily do. 641 00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:39,553 If I was keeping to myself, 642 00:18:39,596 --> 00:18:40,423 I would call him 643 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:41,337 Blacky Lawless, 644 00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:42,208 cause he's 645 00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:43,948 he kind of does what he wants. 646 00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:45,211 He's a feisty little guy. 647 00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:47,038 So he's gonna need, 648 00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:49,432 you know, he's gonna need something. 649 00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:52,261 Let's see if he's into scratchin' 650 00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:53,871 You wanna get into a scratcher? 651 00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:56,178 Look, I'll just wrap this right around ya. 652 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,048 No, he's not. 653 00:18:57,092 --> 00:18:58,485 See? You can tell right away. 654 00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:00,313 He's not into scratchin'. 655 00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:02,228 Although he does enjoy belly work. 656 00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:03,229 I noticed if you 657 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:06,014 if you get him here like this 658 00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:06,797 and you just give him tugs 659 00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:08,016 on his belly. 660 00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:09,060 Like that, see that? 661 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,237 He calms right down. 662 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,325 He enjoys belly work. 663 00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:13,674 That's a, 664 00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:15,023 that's a sign of a good kitty. 665 00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,894 If you can give him tugs on his belly like that. 666 00:19:16,938 --> 00:19:18,157 And he likes that. 667 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,508 Tugga tugga tugga tugga tugga 668 00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:22,683 [Bubbles laughs] 669 00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:23,553 He likes that. 670 00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:24,641 Maybe you need some nip. 671 00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:26,513 Maybe some nip. 672 00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:28,036 Well, you're already pretty fired up though. 673 00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:31,692 Let's see what I got in the tackle trunk here. 674 00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,651 How about green mousey? 675 00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:35,304 Oh yeah. 676 00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:36,305 That got your 677 00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:38,394 That got your attention, didn't it? 678 00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:40,222 Green mousey. 679 00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:42,442 No. 680 00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:43,747 Nope. 681 00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:45,923 See that's exactly why I call him Blacky Lawless. 682 00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:46,750 He just does 683 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,189 The natural laws of kitty physics 684 00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:52,669 don't really apply to this guy. 685 00:19:52,713 --> 00:19:54,193 He just does his own thing. 686 00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:56,369 [Bubble chuckles] 687 00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:57,500 but he's an excellent 688 00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:58,501 look at him 689 00:19:58,545 --> 00:19:59,285 He's just 690 00:19:59,328 --> 00:20:00,547 He likes it all. 691 00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:02,940 Well, you can just give him tugs everywhere. 692 00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:03,941 He's definitely a 693 00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:06,640 Bubble certified kitty right there. 694 00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:07,858 Blacky Lawless. 695 00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:16,476 [cat meows] 696 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,173 - Remember how I always wanted 697 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,218 to fight a grizzly bear? 698 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:20,088 And I was thinking about getting one 699 00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:20,915 as a pet so that 700 00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:22,090 I could practice on it 701 00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:22,873 as it's growing 702 00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:24,179 growing bigger. 703 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,355 Eventually I'd be able to fight him full on. 704 00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:27,748 No. 705 00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,271 Do you know that a grizzly bear's bite 706 00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:30,141 is strong enough to 707 00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:31,882 crush a fuckin' bowling ball? 708 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:33,667 - Jesus. 709 00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:34,711 - [Ricky] I don't know what 710 00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:35,451 a bowling ball's made out of, but 711 00:20:35,495 --> 00:20:36,365 - A grizzly bear? 712 00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:36,887 - [Ricky] It seems pretty hard. 713 00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:38,062 - Oh my God. 714 00:20:38,106 --> 00:20:39,803 A grizzly bear can bite a bowling ball? 715 00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:41,022 - Crush it. 716 00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:42,197 Turn it to dust. 717 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,243 - How could his teeth be that strong? 718 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:45,156 Bowling balls are made outta 719 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,680 - Super teeth. 720 00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,029 - They're made outta stone. 721 00:20:48,072 --> 00:20:49,944 They're made of, like, marble or whatever. 722 00:20:49,987 --> 00:20:51,598 - They must drink a lot of milk. 723 00:20:53,034 --> 00:20:53,817 - Milk doesn't 724 00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:54,557 - Strong teeth. 725 00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:55,471 - give you strong teeth. 726 00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:57,778 Like that type of strong teeth. 727 00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:00,084 - Why the fuck isn't this cooking to the even? 728 00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:03,523 - Ricky, why don't. Ugh, Jesus. 729 00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:06,917 Forget my, forget my half quick fry. 730 00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:08,484 - I'm not, I'm not having any of that. 731 00:21:08,528 --> 00:21:10,138 - I don't want a half quick fry any more. 732 00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:11,922 - And then little Mo wanted a Clownfish. 733 00:21:13,097 --> 00:21:14,751 So I'm like, okay, do you want a fuckin' 734 00:21:14,795 --> 00:21:16,405 boy or girl? 735 00:21:16,449 --> 00:21:17,841 And he said, they're only 736 00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:18,929 there's only boy 737 00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:19,800 Clownfishes. 738 00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:21,149 They all get born to boy, 739 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,020 which I didn't know. 740 00:21:23,064 --> 00:21:24,152 And I guess it's true. 741 00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:26,807 But some of them do turn to females to 742 00:21:26,850 --> 00:21:28,156 enable mating 743 00:21:28,199 --> 00:21:29,723 - So their wieners fall off? 744 00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:32,160 - I don't know how it works. 745 00:21:32,203 --> 00:21:34,293 I'd like to get one, to see it in action. 746 00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:35,381 - Well, they're Clownfish, 747 00:21:35,424 --> 00:21:36,251 so he probably just goes, 748 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:36,773 [makes whoosh noise] 749 00:21:36,817 --> 00:21:37,905 "Surprise!" 750 00:21:37,948 --> 00:21:38,732 - [Ricky] And then I was thinking about 751 00:21:38,775 --> 00:21:39,559 maybe getting 752 00:21:39,602 --> 00:21:40,429 an Armadillo 753 00:21:40,473 --> 00:21:42,301 just to have a unique pet. 754 00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:43,389 - [Julian] Why? 755 00:21:43,432 --> 00:21:44,694 - Because they're cool looking and 756 00:21:44,738 --> 00:21:45,956 apparently they're friendly 757 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,044 and they like to snuggle. 758 00:21:48,002 --> 00:21:49,177 - It says they like to snuggle? 759 00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:51,135 - [Ricky] No, I, I just think they might. 760 00:21:51,179 --> 00:21:55,226 But anyway, these Nine Banded bastards, they always 761 00:21:55,270 --> 00:21:59,405 give birth to identical quadruplets. 762 00:21:59,448 --> 00:22:00,449 Every fuckin' time. 763 00:22:00,493 --> 00:22:01,711 Identical quadruplets. 764 00:22:01,755 --> 00:22:02,973 So if I got a fuckin' 765 00:22:03,017 --> 00:22:03,844 Armadillo 766 00:22:03,887 --> 00:22:05,324 I can't have four babies. 767 00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:06,237 It'd be fucked. 768 00:22:07,282 --> 00:22:08,065 And I have all 769 00:22:08,109 --> 00:22:09,284 of a sudden five fuckin' 770 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,111 - Yeah. 771 00:22:10,154 --> 00:22:11,199 cocksuckers running around. 772 00:22:11,242 --> 00:22:12,113 - It would be fucked. 773 00:22:12,156 --> 00:22:14,289 - The fuck is he talking about? 774 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,551 - I'm not getting an Armadillo. 775 00:22:15,595 --> 00:22:17,292 - Don't get a fuckin' Armadillo then, Ricky. 776 00:22:18,685 --> 00:22:19,860 Where would you even find an Armadillo around here? 777 00:22:19,903 --> 00:22:20,730 - You know what? 778 00:22:20,774 --> 00:22:21,557 This fuckin'. 779 00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:22,341 You don't need a microwave. 780 00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:23,211 Look at this shit. 781 00:22:23,254 --> 00:22:23,864 That's the best thing in here. 782 00:22:23,907 --> 00:22:25,039 - What is? 783 00:22:25,082 --> 00:22:26,954 - The sweet and sour fuckin' concoction. 784 00:22:26,997 --> 00:22:28,172 Fuck microwaves! 785 00:22:28,216 --> 00:22:28,999 Microwaves can suck my cock. 786 00:22:29,043 --> 00:22:30,261 I was gonna buy another one? 787 00:22:30,305 --> 00:22:31,001 - Why don't you just smash everything up, man. 788 00:22:31,045 --> 00:22:32,133 - [Bubbles] I know Ricky, 789 00:22:32,176 --> 00:22:34,048 but you would've had it cooked long ago. 790 00:22:34,091 --> 00:22:36,267 - [Ricky] These egg rolls are taking forever. 791 00:22:36,311 --> 00:22:37,356 - This guy, Sergeant Rizzle says, 792 00:22:37,399 --> 00:22:40,010 "What kind of car does Ricky drive?" 793 00:22:40,054 --> 00:22:43,840 - 1975 Chrysler New Yorker. 794 00:22:43,884 --> 00:22:45,712 I like big cars. 795 00:22:45,755 --> 00:22:47,061 - [Bubbles in A raspy voice] I like big cars 796 00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:48,715 and I don't know why 797 00:22:48,758 --> 00:22:50,151 [Bubbles laughs] 798 00:22:50,194 --> 00:22:50,978 Get it? 799 00:22:51,021 --> 00:22:52,371 - Yeah, I get it Bubs. 800 00:22:52,414 --> 00:22:54,242 - Okay, boys, well. 801 00:22:54,285 --> 00:22:56,026 - [Ricky in a deeper Voice] My name is Ricky. 802 00:22:56,070 --> 00:22:57,376 I'm tricky. 803 00:22:57,419 --> 00:22:58,725 - All right. 804 00:22:58,768 --> 00:22:59,813 - That would be uh. 805 00:22:59,856 --> 00:23:00,640 [Bubbles In A Raspy Voice] I'm Ricky, 806 00:23:00,683 --> 00:23:01,510 I walk around. 807 00:23:01,554 --> 00:23:02,293 I smoked some dope. 808 00:23:02,337 --> 00:23:03,338 I walk around 809 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,166 - [Bubbles And Ricky Both] I'm Ricky. 810 00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:06,515 - I'm Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky. 811 00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:07,473 - All right, boys, on that note, this, 812 00:23:07,516 --> 00:23:08,387 it's time to end this. 813 00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:09,388 We gotta go now. 814 00:23:09,431 --> 00:23:10,345 - Why? 815 00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:11,259 - It's time's up. 816 00:23:11,302 --> 00:23:12,826 Perfect timing, now we can eat. 817 00:23:12,869 --> 00:23:14,393 - [Bubbles] Okay, well get, like, 818 00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:16,133 get, serving her up! 819 00:23:16,177 --> 00:23:17,265 - Try this shit. 820 00:23:17,308 --> 00:23:18,440 Fuck. 821 00:23:18,484 --> 00:23:20,486 - Ricky, you're gonna eat with the tongs. 822 00:23:20,529 --> 00:23:22,401 - I was going to, but it didn't work right. 823 00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:24,054 Oh, fuck, that's still on! 824 00:23:25,099 --> 00:23:25,926 - [Julian] You dumb ass. 825 00:23:25,969 --> 00:23:26,796 [Ricky laughs] 826 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:27,710 - Fuck, man. That sucked. 827 00:23:27,754 --> 00:23:29,364 - You're gonna burn yourself. 828 00:23:31,235 --> 00:23:32,019 How is it? 829 00:23:33,063 --> 00:23:35,022 - It is fuckin' good. 830 00:23:35,065 --> 00:23:36,371 - All right, well, 831 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,721 tune in next week when Ricky has food poisoning.